Parenting Skills All Moms Need
How many times have you thought that your kids were the worst kids in the neighborhood, but you weren’t sure how to make them more well behaved? 🤔
Reading the news and watching people with their children, I wonder what kind of discussions take place at home. For example, you tell your child “Clean up your room”. You walk by his room an hour later, and not only is it not cleaned up, but he’s also playing a video game.
What do you do?
1. Yell at your child
2. Ignore them
3. Institute consequences
I love instituting consequences because it teaches your child life lessons. The life lesson is that people like dealing with well-mannered people. So, as adorable as your child is (to you), when they mis-behave no one likes them, including you. 🤷🏽♀️
Did you know, the older your child is, the harder it is to teach them manners and good behavior. They are difficult to deal with at school and in public. Then they become the teacher’s problem, or a statistic with law enforcement.
If you ask your child to do something and it’s not done – how do you hold them accountable?
If you don’t hold them accountable, what are the consequences to you and your child?
How do they learn the lesson that you’re trying to teach them?
If you are having a difficult time holding your child accountable, it might seem easier to expect your child’s teacher or another adult to take responsibility for parenting your child. It sends mixed messages to a child when someone else outside of you or your spouse becomes the responsible parent your child. Because that’s what happens when law-enforcement gets involved or the teacher has to discipline your child at school. Instead start when your child is very young, giving consequences that are appropriate for them at their age.
For example, before naptime, show your child how to pick up their toys and put them in the toy box. They cannot take a nap until the toys are in the toybox. My mom used to do that with us. What’s crazy is that I hated taking naps, 😴 so I can’t believe that I was duped into cleaning up my room before I laid down to take a nap that I didn’t want.
But it worked!
If you start when they’re 2-3 years old, by the time they are 5, 6, or 7, they are pretty well mannered.
The other thing about discipline and consistency is that it doesn’t work (as well) if you are not giving your child your attention on a regular basis. If the only time you interact with your child is to discipline, yell or scream at them, then you have lost their attention (and respect) when you want them to be well mannered and obedient.
Let me know how instituting consequences works for you and your child. If you need help, click on the link and let’s talk:
Want to learn more about how to get along with your family members?
Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Creating Safe and Resilient Kids
How do you create resilient kids during times like these where there is so much violence and access to people all over the world via technology?
One thing I did, was start conversations when my kids were very young. We talked about:
- How to stay safe
- Who to talk to
- What people to be wary of
- Experiences they are having
- Let them talk about any topic that they are curious about
I took examples from nightly news stories, and what was trending at school or in the community to have dinner time discussions with my children. There was no social media when they were adolescents and teens. Opening the conversation with “feel free to talk about whatever you want“, made it easier for them to talk about what was going on at school, in the neighborhood and with their friends.
Listen a lot.
Remember some of the stories that you’ve heard and ask if anything has happened since you talked.
Let them talk without feeling ashamed or stupid. The more you listen (judgement-free), the more trust you’ll build, and don’t be surprised that they will tell you lots more than you ever expected.
The more conversations you and your children have, the easier it will be to talk about situations that are unsafe or should be avoided. It’s those series of conversations, during family-times like dinner, which are great times to ask what’s going on, do what-if scenarios and build kids that can bounce back from disappointments and unexpected situations.
Resilient kids.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Are You Following Your Gut?
There were two women in my life that had an uncanny sense of showing up when I least expected. One was my mother, the other my grandmother. How they knew that I was either getting into trouble or thinking about getting into trouble, I’ll never know. But they showed up at times that really helped me develop into the woman that I am today. My mom used to say, “you’ll never know when I’ll show up.”
I used to think they were magical, scary women! What I have learned as I’ve raised my own children, is that they were simply following their hunches, their intuition, their sixth sense.
We all have a sixth sense, it’s one of those spiritual qualities that God gives us and in my culture, it’s a trait that women develop. I’m sure men have a gut feeling; they just don’t talk about it. It’s really important to pay attention to your intuition, and not discount it, because it may make a difference between saving your life or the life of those around you especially your children.
When my daughter was in high school, I worked a traditional 9 to 5 job and had to be at work at 8:30 am. My gut told me to stop by her school building first. I ran into her, and she wasn’t doing anything wrong, but was surprised that I showed up unexpectedly. To this day, I have no idea why I needed to show up to. Maybe she was thinking about “cutting school”. I don’t know. However, the point was made and I became one of those scary people!
When I think about the violence that is happening to our children, I believe in my heart that moms get one of those feelings before something happens. It’s Spirit’s way of telling us to follow through… most likely as a way to stop what could happen from happening. So when your first mind (intuition) tells you that the party your teenager is trying to attend is unsafe, keep them at home. You won’t be the most popular parent, but you will feel better if/when you hear on the evening news that something happened at that same address, knowing your child was safe at home with you.
Having conversations with your child about your “gut feelings” will help your child understand that the decisions you are making, are for their highest good.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Raising Children Without Losing Yourself
Guest blogger, Jenny Miller
Becoming a parent changes everything. Your priorities shift, your responsibilities grow, and suddenly you’re no longer the most important thing in your life. While it’s normal for parenthood to bring major changes, becoming a parent shouldn’t mean losing your sense of self, though. In fact, it’s possible to be a great parent without putting your goals and dreams on pause. Today, C. Lynn Williams explains how!
Loving with Limits: Why Parents Need Boundaries
You’d do anything for your child. However, many parents struggle to balance supporting their child with setting limits.
- Healthy boundaries benefit a child’s emotional and social development, encourage autonomy, and ease the workload of parenthood.
- According to Hand in Hand Parenting, children need four types of limits to flourish: safety, values, expectations, and proposal limits.
- Limits also promote age-appropriate independence. At an early age, that may mean entertaining themselves. As they get older, independent children can troubleshoot problems and do simple chores.
Maintaining Your Identity in Parenthood
Do you feel like you’ve lost your identity since becoming a parent? Parenthood takes a lot of time and energy, but it’s possible to adjust and feel like yourself again.
- Make time for adult relationships. Schedule kid-free time with your partner and maintain a social life, even if it looks different nowadays.
- Set goals for yourself. Do you want to get back into a hobby, learn something new, or adopt a healthier lifestyle? Goals are the key to building a happy life long-term.
- If you’re a stay-at-home parent, consider going back to work. There are numerous job boards where you can find a position that fits your skills. Use a resume builder to give your resume a makeover, then create a winning cover letter to get noticed.
- If you need extra education or training to improve your hireability, look into online learning. For instance, most popular medical coding courses can be done online in less than 30 hours and can really open up doors!
Self-Care Is Family Care
Self-care tends to drop down the priority list after starting a family, but it shouldn’t disappear from it entirely. A good parent is a happy parent, and happiness starts with self-care.
- Focus on the positive changes parenthood brings. There are always challenges, but practicing gratitude makes them feel easier.
- Spend quality time with your children. Take just a few minutes for meaningful connection each day. Even reading to your children each day makes a big difference for you and your kids.
- Take care of your health. Not only do healthy habits give you the physical and mental stamina to rise to life’s challenges, and it also sets a good example for your children.
There’s no question that parenthood requires sacrifice. However, you don’t have to sacrifice your own goals to be an exceptional parent. In fact, by taking care of yourself and continuing on a path of personal growth, you provide your children with a role model for thriving through life’s transitions.
C. Lynn Williams is a veteran educator, speaker, workshop presenter, passionate mother & wife, as well as author of “Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen: A primer for parents”, “The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son”, “Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES!“, “Yours & Mine: A Winning Blended Family Formula“, and “Daddy & Daughter Thoughts: A Dad’s Guide to Daughters“.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Want to Learn a New Lesson Everyday… Become a Parent
Every summer we keep our grandson, Aidan for a week. It helps out because his daycare is closed the week before school begins in the fall, and it gives his parents a rest. 😴
I love spending time with him. It gives my husband and I a chance to spend time with him, teach him some of our values and customs, and to learn more about him and his generation through his experiences.
I continue to learn patience from Aidan, which is funny because after raising four children, I feel like I already know quite a bit about parenting. 😉
Here’s what I learned this week from Aidan:
⁃ Sitting next to him is not necessarily spending time with him, especially if I’m engrossed with one of my devices.
⁃ Expecting him to do the right thing doesn’t work unless I explain it clearly and give him a good example to follow.
⁃ Having fun and learning new things is what’s important to him as a three-year-old and I’m OK with that.
Being a great parent or grandparent really works if you are willing to:
1. Spend the time
2. Make the time
3. Be present and love them unconditionally
Have a blast & enjoy every minute.💥
Interested in managing your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
One Size Does Not Fit Everyone
Thank you for reading and sharing my blogs. As a mom who has raised 4 children, and has taught teens and young adults, I know how important it is to live in a stable, loving home. I believe in healthy family relationships, and doing all I can to support moms, dads, to raise the next generation. I am here to support you through my books, blogs, workshops and coaching programs.
Being a mom requires you to be on call 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. Moms soothe sick kids, scared kids, broken hearts, and those who struggle with insecurities. They also take care of their brothers, sisters, parents and friends. Remind yourself that you are doing an AWESOME job! Take time to do something relaxing or fun for you!
Moms, help me help you guide the next generation. Completing this survey helps me design coaching programs and workshops that make you feel better mentally and physically. A one size program does not fit every mom!
Check out my survey and thanks for completing it. You will find the link below the graphic. Share it on your social media page and tag me @msparentguru, to receive a complimentary gift.
Click here for survey link.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
Understanding and Addressing the Symptoms of Parenting Fatigue
The article is for parents of special needs children who wish to assess their level of fatigue and create a self-care “treatment plan” (though this should definitely not replace a doctor’s treatment plan!).
New Mom Advice: Remember Yourself While Breastfeeding
Guest blog by Katherine Williams, whenthebabysleeps.com
Breastfeeding takes a lot of energy out of new moms. From late-night nursing sessions to minimal sleep, to feeling emotionally drained, having a new baby has its challenges. To make this special time better for both your baby and you, it’s crucial to find ways to take care of yourself. As laughable as it might sound, author and coach C. Lynn Williams offers up several ways to make self-care happen without feeling overwhelmed or guilty.
Care for the Necessities
Your kids need you to care for not only them but also yourself. When breastfeeding, it may feel like you spend all your time and effort on one child. Raising a baby can be mentally taxing and you must take care of your kids to give you the peace that you want.
You have to learn to stay calm, not only for your sake but for the baby. Kids pick up on your stress and if you do not stay calm, the baby may not want to keep close to you. All your baby wants is skin-to-skin contact and food. When breastfeeding, find yourself a comfortable chair to sit down in. You should feel supported by the chair and have no trouble elevating your legs if necessary. Additionally, stay close to your baby. Babies need a comfortable feeding session to remain close to their mothers.
In addition, find clothes that fit you correctly and remain comfortable. For instance, maternity bras are supportive but also can help prevent leaks. Do not wear a regular bra when nursing; instead, look for a nursing bra.
Take Control of Your Mental Health
Before you can fix your mental health, look at your diet. According to the experts, a healthy diet consists of fiber, fat, calcium, and protein. If you want to succeed and feel better mentally and physically, prepare your meals and make changes to the way you eat with or without help.
A new baby can be the source of a lot of stress. New mothers may go through physical changes, fatigue, or lose confidence about breastfeeding. Be careful not to try diets that may slow you down or cause rapid weight loss while engaged in breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding comes with various emotions attached, including postpartum. You may need help from a therapist to stop feeling overwhelmed. Virtual therapy is a good option to consider. Online therapy is easy because anyone can go online to watch a therapist. To ease your mind, take part in physical activity. Different types of exercises, including walking, can be done anywhere.
Teach Older Kids How to Cope
When your other kids welcome a new baby brother or sister home, they may seem overjoyed. Even excited kids need reassurance from their parents. Try to prioritize time with all of your kids. If you do not spend time with them, you may feel more pressure or guilt. Do what you can to stay available each night. You may want to help your kids with basic chores or make sure to plan for new experiences you can all celebrate as a family and keep morale up.
When it comes to your other children, acknowledge how they feel. Even if they act scared or negative, remind them that being an older sibling does come with responsibility and allow them to take as much time as necessary to build their confidence as a big brother or sister. When you acknowledge your children’s feelings, you have more coping tools and less jealousy to deal with.
Interested in managing your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
4 Reasons to Write a Will
Here are 4 reasons why having a will is important to your family.
How to Have Healthier Menfolk
As I sit here and eat a bag of Hershey’s kisses, I wonder how in the world my kids learned to stop loving junk food 😝 and stay healthy? 🤔
Wonder how you build kids who love junk food, into healthy adults? 🍪🍟
This month of June, celebrates men and boy’s health. So let’s talk about physical health.
When it comes to male health, I literally have to call “the kids” when my husband needs to go to the doctor. He’s pretty clear that there is no need to go to the doctor.. just take an Advil or Dayquil and stay in the bed. 🤷🏽♀️
So you can imagine, there’s no such thing as scheduling an annual well visit.
Do you live with someone like that? 🤦🏽♀️
Scheduling annual well doctor and dentist visits are easy to do when our sons are young. They need both for school or to play sports. As they grow into men, it becomes more challenging to have them see a doctor as a preventative measure. My husband would rather write a check for a million dollars 💵 than have a wellness visit. 🤷🏽♀️
It’s a shame that body parts have to stop working, in order to visit the doctor. Maybe it’s the “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it” strategy.
If the males in your family are the same way, it might be easier to help them eat healthier. Personally, I like vegetables and a fish protein since I don’t eat meat. I get a little push back if I make what my husband calls, double greens. 🥬 For example, cooking stir fry veggies and a side of spinach is considered double greens. On those days, I’m pressing my luck.
With your sons, especially if they play a sport, having a good amount of healthy carbs makes eating junk food less enticing. Maybe they’re not interested in eating grapes, apples and cherries, but have them in the fridge. Having popcorn, cheese bites, and healthy snacks in the pantry, may make flaming hots, or hot Cheetos less attractive.
I recommend starting a healthy regime now at the beginning of the summer before more bad eating habits get started.
Consider adding in a mother-son (or husband-wife) evening walk to give you time with each other, and a little exercise.
Or… encourage your husband and son to go to the park and throw a baseball, football, play soccer, or run on the track together. You might get push back if they’ve not done this before. Just keep encouraging them.
I’ve been trying to get my husband to walk with me in the evening, so that we don’t become a fixed part of the sofa. 😂 I’ll keep trying.
At the end of the day, exercising and healthy eating, can help you control your weight and keep your sanity.
Write me and let me know how successful you are with the males in your family. I’ll do the same. 👀
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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