Posts tagged ‘Mother’
Setting Boundaries As A Way to Manage Your Down Time?
Managing downtime for parents is essential for a healthy work-life balance and family well-being. Setting boundaries helps prioritize needs and emotional well-being. Key points include identifying priorities, communicating needs, scheduling dedicated downtime, creating physical and digital boundaries, learning to say no, leading by example, and being consistent. Setting and respecting boundaries reduces stress and strengthens family connections.
Does Parenthood Mean You Can’t Be Romantic?
As a parent, finding time to nurture your relationship can sometimes feel like a daunting task.
Continue Reading February 14, 2024 at 6:15 pm Leave a comment
How to Motivate Our Kids
Did you ever take music lessons or practice a sport to become the best? It’s called deliberate practice and there are important life skills that children learn when they practice becoming better at something. One lesson that comes up for me is resilience. My daughter wanted to take dance lessons, and once she started attending the class, she decided she didn’t like it and wanted to quit. That happens often with children. They will like something because their friends like it. The challenge is getting them to stick it out until a natural ending like a concert or the season ends. Requiring them to finish at a natural ending point, teaches them tolerance.
You see it a lot in some cultures where practice is relentless, but the outcomes are amazing. I think about the Olympics and Russians gymnasts. They excel because of their over-the-top work ethic. I also think about Chinese students and music. Practice makes their performances better!
This deliberate practice requires us (as parents) to perform our show and tell. It’s one thing to tell your child to go and practice their clarinet. It’s quite a different feeling when you share with them that on your job or in your business, you have goals to attain and the better that you are at setting those goals, the better you are at mastering them and achieving them or smashing them!
We have an opportunity as parents, to build excellence no matter what your economic or social standing. When your kids are with you, get them to do more of what they like and practice it until it is amazing. You notice I’m not saying perfect because perfect means there’s no room to grow and be better and there’s always room to grow and be better. I’m also suggesting that you allow them to do something that they like, as opposed to what you like for them. It’s less of a struggle…
By the way, this is not just a skill for musically and sports inclined children. For the kids who love academics; who love reading; who love writing; who love tech; help them find tune that skill and motivate them to become outliers.
An outlier is a person that stands out from all other members of a particular group or set. They stand out! That’s a positive thing. Our children are born with gifts that require motivation, nurturing and fine-tuning to stand out. As parents, this is what we can offer our children:
- A safe home environment
- Food to eat
- Love
- Encouragement
- Structure
- Hope
Sometimes the gifts that live inside of our child, are quite different from ours or anyone within our family. It doesn’t make the gift wrong or strange… just different.
So practice motivating your child and that gift of theirs, while they are on summer break. If you haven’t already seen their brilliance peek out, keep watching.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
What Are the Rules?
I’m old enough to remember that rules were made for a reason and people followed them.
Sometimes we broke the rules by disobeying our parents, but not often because there were consequences.
We didn’t do things like throw paper or bags of food on the ground. We didn’t see our parents do it and there were fines if you got caught littering. Plus our parents or someone else gave us a hard time if we disobeyed “the rules”.
I think about how annoying some rules are and what their purpose is.
I love my freedom. So following the rules isn’t always easy for me. But I understand how important they are if I want to live harmoniously with people in my community and in my family.
Freedoms across the world are important too! So I stand in solidarity with my brothers and sisters, when we celebrate events like May Day, Cinco de Mayo and Juneteenth. I watch events in my community and around the world as rebellions reflect how unhappy people are with rules! Yet, without basic rules of conduct, civility and how we live, there is only chaos, not freedom.
I think about the importance of moms in our life. Mothers teach us and help us follow rules and they create customs that follow us for the rest of our lives.
It’s important for parents to share their values with their children, so they understand how they fit into the world and how to live harmoniously with others. The world is a better place when we respect each other and follow basic rules. Our kids are watching us.
By the way, it bugs me when people drive through the red light, don’t stop at stop signs, or beep at pedestrians because they are taking too long to cross the street. 😡
Let’s remember to live harmoniously and that we are all related as humans.
Smile at someone today.
Be courteous.
Let someone merge in front of you when you’re driving. Be a positive role model to your child. That’s my prayer for the month of May.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Author & parent coach
Teaching Responsibility versus Perfection
This month I’ve focused on commitment and responsibility within our families, with ourselves as parents, and with our children.
I would not be MsParentguru, if I didn’t mention that many of us grew up with parents who taught us that success meant you did things exactly as you were told – perfectly.
That’s how I was raised.
Thinking back to my childhood, my siblings and I had chores. To deviate from my parent’s expectations was not good! There were consequences. 😩 For example, during the week, I was expected to heat up dinner, by the time my parents got home from work. My sister or brother would set the table.
Being the strong-willed child who stretched the limits of what my mom wanted me to do, I would not focus so much on having dinner ready, I would do something that I thought would make mom happy and proud of me.
Why? 🤷🏽♀️ Kids need the why…
Of course she reprimanded me because I did not do what she expected me to do, but what I felt as a child, was that I couldn’t please my mother.
How many times have you felt like that growing up? If you did exactly what your parents asked you to do they still weren’t pleased with the results? So we have children that suffer with self-esteem issues and I wonder if parents are requiring perfection as a need for control instead of teaching children the bigger picture?
The bigger picture is that there are many ways to complete tasks at home, at school or at work. When we get stuck with how something should be done, it causes issues in our relationship with our kids.
So how do we repair those relationships?
One way is to be really clear about what it is that we want our children to do when we assign tasks or chores – simply saying “clean up your room” could mean that there are no dirty clothes or plates of food underneath the bed or stuffed in the closet.
It might mean that your bed is made and whatever else you want them to do in their room. Once you have explained the task, have your child say back to you what it is that they heard you say so that both of you understand. I certainly remember saying “that’s not what I asked you to do”, and hearing – “Mom that’s what you said.”
Will this strategy work the first couple of times maybe so, maybe not. However, as you work on communicating in a way that they understand and cover it with a lot of love and grace, conversations, and the expectations will get better and better. I’d love to hear your thoughts on what it meant to be a perfect, parent and issues that you may have faced trying to control your child’s responses.
What was missing between my mom and I, was the explanation for why what I did was not good enough. These types of conversations help parents teach responsibility and life lessons to their children without squelching their self-esteem.
If your motherhood journey feels more like a chore, than an honored responsibility…Register here for my FREE 3-Day challenge: Make Family Living Easier.
C. Lynn Williams, Ms. Parentguru
How Do You Teach Kindness to Your Kid?
What kindness do you see in the world today? It starts within families…
Continue Reading November 16, 2022 at 10:45 pm Leave a comment
Want to Learn a New Lesson Everyday… Become a Parent
Every summer we keep our grandson, Aidan for a week. It helps out because his daycare is closed the week before school begins in the fall, and it gives his parents a rest. 😴
I love spending time with him. It gives my husband and I a chance to spend time with him, teach him some of our values and customs, and to learn more about him and his generation through his experiences.
I continue to learn patience from Aidan, which is funny because after raising four children, I feel like I already know quite a bit about parenting. 😉
Here’s what I learned this week from Aidan:
⁃ Sitting next to him is not necessarily spending time with him, especially if I’m engrossed with one of my devices.
⁃ Expecting him to do the right thing doesn’t work unless I explain it clearly and give him a good example to follow.
⁃ Having fun and learning new things is what’s important to him as a three-year-old and I’m OK with that.
Being a great parent or grandparent really works if you are willing to:
1. Spend the time
2. Make the time
3. Be present and love them unconditionally
Have a blast & enjoy every minute.💥
Interested in managing your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
One Size Does Not Fit Everyone
Thank you for reading and sharing my blogs. As a mom who has raised 4 children, and has taught teens and young adults, I know how important it is to live in a stable, loving home. I believe in healthy family relationships, and doing all I can to support moms, dads, to raise the next generation. I am here to support you through my books, blogs, workshops and coaching programs.
Being a mom requires you to be on call 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. Moms soothe sick kids, scared kids, broken hearts, and those who struggle with insecurities. They also take care of their brothers, sisters, parents and friends. Remind yourself that you are doing an AWESOME job! Take time to do something relaxing or fun for you!
Moms, help me help you guide the next generation. Completing this survey helps me design coaching programs and workshops that make you feel better mentally and physically. A one size program does not fit every mom!
Check out my survey and thanks for completing it. You will find the link below the graphic. Share it on your social media page and tag me @msparentguru, to receive a complimentary gift.
Click here for survey link.
Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for Aging Parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters or Fathers and Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Parent Coach, Author & Speaker
New Mom Advice: Remember Yourself While Breastfeeding
Guest blog by Katherine Williams, whenthebabysleeps.com
Breastfeeding takes a lot of energy out of new moms. From late-night nursing sessions to minimal sleep, to feeling emotionally drained, having a new baby has its challenges. To make this special time better for both your baby and you, it’s crucial to find ways to take care of yourself. As laughable as it might sound, author and coach C. Lynn Williams offers up several ways to make self-care happen without feeling overwhelmed or guilty.
Care for the Necessities
Your kids need you to care for not only them but also yourself. When breastfeeding, it may feel like you spend all your time and effort on one child. Raising a baby can be mentally taxing and you must take care of your kids to give you the peace that you want.
You have to learn to stay calm, not only for your sake but for the baby. Kids pick up on your stress and if you do not stay calm, the baby may not want to keep close to you. All your baby wants is skin-to-skin contact and food. When breastfeeding, find yourself a comfortable chair to sit down in. You should feel supported by the chair and have no trouble elevating your legs if necessary. Additionally, stay close to your baby. Babies need a comfortable feeding session to remain close to their mothers.
In addition, find clothes that fit you correctly and remain comfortable. For instance, maternity bras are supportive but also can help prevent leaks. Do not wear a regular bra when nursing; instead, look for a nursing bra.
Take Control of Your Mental Health
Before you can fix your mental health, look at your diet. According to the experts, a healthy diet consists of fiber, fat, calcium, and protein. If you want to succeed and feel better mentally and physically, prepare your meals and make changes to the way you eat with or without help.
A new baby can be the source of a lot of stress. New mothers may go through physical changes, fatigue, or lose confidence about breastfeeding. Be careful not to try diets that may slow you down or cause rapid weight loss while engaged in breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding comes with various emotions attached, including postpartum. You may need help from a therapist to stop feeling overwhelmed. Virtual therapy is a good option to consider. Online therapy is easy because anyone can go online to watch a therapist. To ease your mind, take part in physical activity. Different types of exercises, including walking, can be done anywhere.
Teach Older Kids How to Cope
When your other kids welcome a new baby brother or sister home, they may seem overjoyed. Even excited kids need reassurance from their parents. Try to prioritize time with all of your kids. If you do not spend time with them, you may feel more pressure or guilt. Do what you can to stay available each night. You may want to help your kids with basic chores or make sure to plan for new experiences you can all celebrate as a family and keep morale up.
When it comes to your other children, acknowledge how they feel. Even if they act scared or negative, remind them that being an older sibling does come with responsibility and allow them to take as much time as necessary to build their confidence as a big brother or sister. When you acknowledge your children’s feelings, you have more coping tools and less jealousy to deal with.
Interested in managing your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my parent coaching programs that help guide you through Aging Parents, Mother and Daughter drama, Mothers and their Sons challenges, Fathers and Daughters as well as Fathers and their Sons.
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
4 Reasons to Write a Will
Here are 4 reasons why having a will is important to your family.
Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens 
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