Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens

Endangered Species – Our Sons

December 1, 2015 at 2:47 am Leave a comment

When I was growing up, if somebody had an issue with you, they put their fist up to their eyes and nose and then mouthed 315; which meant, I will see you once we get out of school. Nowadays, if somebody has an issue with you they shoot you and if they miss they hit your neighbors, unsuspecting children and anybody else who happens to be in their crossfire.

As we were retreat more and more into our electronics and less and less into just talking to each other, it’s sad to say, but I understand how we’ve gotten to this point. When I was growing up, we ate dinner together and whether you wanted to tell your parents what was going on at school or not you had an opportunity to do that because there was no TV playing; we weren’t on our cell phones texting other people and if you didn’t talk, there was dead silence. Eventually somebody talked.

In many households today, everybody is busy. Parents are working multiple jobs or are not at home for their kids to talk to when they really need to talk. So who do these boys talk to? For our boys many who are being raised by their single moms, who do boys talk to? When my mother and father divorced, my father moved out. It seemed to me, my brother got into trouble immediately. He got into trouble at school, and started hanging out with the neighborhood troublemaker. My dad would come by the house to spank him and the next time we would see our dad would be when my brother got into trouble.

While I don’t live with many of you, I know that you are doing the best you can to raise your son as a respectable young man. As a single mom, that’s hard. I raised my son and daughter for a while as a divorced mom, and I know the challenges you face making sure that son of yours respects and obeys you. I would call my ex-husband when my son got beside himself. Usually a telephone conversation was enough for him to straighten out. If there is no dad at home, you run the risk of your son being influenced by the closest male figure to him, whether that man is positive or negative. So talk to your pastor, or enroll your son in a sports program where the coach is a positive, male role model.

To stop the violence I believe we have to be present and available. Show up at their events – unexpectedly, listen to what they have to say. Even listen to those things you don’t want to hear. Let’s win back the trust of our children and reduce this violence that’s happening every single day.

Interested in learning more about your family’s dynamics? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for aging parents, Mothers and Daughters or Mothers and Sons. Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author, Coach & Family Dynamics Specialist

www.clynnwilliams.com
Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)

The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)

Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)

NEW® Yours & Mine: The Winning Blended Family Formula (220 Publishing, 2015)

Entry filed under: #BlackLivesMatter, #MsParentguru, adolescents, after school activities, Black boys, black son, brother, Dad, divorce, family, fathers, Parenting, sons, sports, violence, young boys. Tags: black boys, gun violence, male role models, single moms.