Staying Sane While Raising Your Teens

Other Mothers’ Sons…

December 15, 2015 at 4:52 pm Leave a comment

I am tired, angry, and discouraged with the number of deaths by gun violence over the last 2-3 years. As a mother with two sons, I thought about how I would feel if my sons were shot or killed randomly or by police. I mean, nowadays, there is such a disdain for life by “lost souls” that a bullet meant for someone else, can find its way to my boys.

When I read the news accounts on how the son (Joseph Graves or substitute any dead young man’s name here) was killed, I wonder what were the last words his mother said to him. I think about how he was raised, who were the influential people in his life, was he part of the problem or part of the solution. Since we are at epidemic proportions of young men dying by gun violence, I’ve changed my focus from the mothers of sons who have died, to the mothers of sons who are doing the shooting.

That’s who I want to think about in this post. Who do these young men go to for guidance? What kind of manners are they taught? What are their unmet needs? Do they need more love, more male interaction, or are they dealing with an untreated mental illness? Good behavior starts at home with good consistent parenting. Sons don’t start out bad, they are allowed to misbehave. It is reinforced when we don’t chastise, redirect them, discipline and teach them how to respect us and themselves.

When I was growing up and got out of control, we were called ‘wild hooligans’ and punished. Bad behavior was not tolerated. Nowadays, what are the consequences for temper tantrums for these boys at ages 2, 3 and 4? This is the age to train them to respect us (their parents) and authority. It i
s impossible to wait until your son is a teenager to train him on respect and good behavior.

My oldest son was raised by his mother and I got to be a part of his life when he was a late teen. He was very well-mannered and respectful. That’s how he was raised. My younger son, spent part of his years with me when I was a single parent, and his high school years with his father. He too understood the rules.

What I’m saying here is that respect and good behavior is learned and reinforced. The same is true for misbehavior. If you allow your son to say anything he wants to you, especially when he’s young and you think it’s cute, then you are breeding a monster. If he is a handful, put some male role models in his life either through your church, the local YMCA or a fraternity sponsored program.

Mothers, we can stop the gun violence now. Start controlling your ‘wild hooligan’ I mean your young man now. Teach your son how to treat people and how to behave appropriately, so that the streets or law enforcement won’t have to.

Interested in learning more about your how to best manage your son’s behavior? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru to receive information about my inspiring parenting programs for aging parents, Mothers and Daughters, Mothers and Sons or Blended Families. Email me at: info@clynnwilliams.com

C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru

Author, Coach & Family Dynamics Specialist

www.clynnwilliams.com

Trying to Stay Sane While Raising Your Teen (St. Paul Press, 2010)
The Pampered Prince: Moms Create a GREAT Relationship with Your Son (St. Paul Press, 2012)
Raising Your Daughter Through the Joys, Tears & HORMONES! (220 Publishing, 2013)
NEW: Yours & Mine: The Winning Blended Family Formula (220 Publishing, 2015)

Entry filed under: adolescents, boys, Parenting, shooting, single moms, violence, young boys. Tags: discipline, good behavior, gun violence, male role models, respect, single moms, sons, young men.